Over the past couple years I have really seen myself start to embrace the more introverted parts of my personality. While I wouldn’t say I am a full blown introvert, I would say that I do tend to lean more towards introversion than extroversion.
Maybe a 51/49 split. Maybe even 52/48.
In college I was always on the go, always somewhere to be, people to see. After I graduated the pace of my life, socially, started to change. As my focus and priorities began to change, so did the time I was spending with people.
As opposed to always seeking out people to be with 24/7 I determined which relationships I really wanted to keep and focused on those. With that determination, came a much simpler way of life. I wasn’t constantly on the go and trying to keep up with everyone around me.
What I also found during this time was the fact that I actually enjoy having time to myself. In college, any moment that I wasn’t with someone else or doing something, I was missing out. As I started to grow out of this I began to really begin to enjoy the moments and time that I did have just for myself. Whether it was on my porch, at a coffeehouse, with a good book, or just lost in my thoughts, I found that having some time to myself was something that really did energize me.
Now while I was ever enjoying this new found contentment with being alone, I still was very much involved with the relationships I had around me. I was still hanging out with those people and investing in those.
While I was growing in my desire and need for solitude, I was still involved with and investing in the community around me.
Now, where I am at today, I have really begun to look at three aspects of our life in regards to spirituality: community, solitude, and silence.
Spiritually speaking, I have always been a big proponent of community. Being involved with a christian fraternity, brotherhood and fellowship is something I greatly value. Whether that brotherhood was primarily focused on brotherhood or not, the relationships that are near and dear to my heart are those that have this spiritual aspect to them. They are the people in my life who help build me up, encourage me, and keep me accountable.
When it comes to solitude, like I have mentioned, I have really begun to understand the importance of getting away from everybody and everything. I have started to try and incorporate this into my life and open up a space by which, in my solitude, I can spend time with God and commune with him. There are times throughout my day or life where I will try to get alone and talk to God. I will think on his goodness, present requests to him, and really allow myself to not be distracted by everything around me and let this solitude be dedicated to him.
The aspect that I have been missing in my spiritual life, that I think is very valuable as well though, is silence. Silence, spiritually speaking, in my opinion, is when we are before God with everything turned off. That means that we are not around other people to engage us. That means we are not reading a book or devotional. That means that we are not even allowing our self to think about or talk to God. Silence, is us presenting our selves to God with everything else shut off, open and ready to receive whatever He might have for us.
Elijah, in 1 Kings, experienced the Lord pass by him, not in the mighty wind, nor the thundering earthquake, nor the raging fire. No, he experienced the Lord in the Whisper. He experienced the lord in the still small voice.
And how do we hear the Whisper?
Silence before God.
Today though, we live in a society where silence before God is not embraced nearly enough.
We may have the community aspect of spirituality down, by coming together and worshiping on Sunday and breaking off into small groups for fellowship throughout the week.
We may even have the solitude aspect down, as we dedicate time sometime during our day to pray, read the bible, or do a devotional.
But how often are we really silencing ourselves enough to hear the still small voice?
How often are we turning off the distractions all around us, slowing down our racing mind, and then quietly sitting before God, asking him to speak to us in the Whisper?
I know for myself, the answer is not nearly enough… Or more like, not nearly ever.
But why is this? Why don’t we put ourselves in a position to hear from god in the Whisper?
I think there are a few different reasons, at least for me, why this is the case.
For one, most of the time when I do actually set aside 5 or 10 minutes to just sit with God and allow Him to speak to me, nothing happens. I don’t get any revelations or words of wisdom. I don’t feel a great sense of overwhelming peace or presence.
I don’t get anything.
So that in and of itself, makes me less likely to do it.
Then the second issue that arises is the fact that, actually making that 5 or 10 minutes happen is one of the hardest things to do! Trying to stop my mind from wandering or thinking about different things is a true feat. And then throw in the fact that sometimes when I try, I might even begin to nod off and it starts to seem like a hopeless endeavor.
So first off, we don’t really get anything out of it and second off, its really hard to quiet ourselves to do.
Those combined, make silence before God a herculean task for me.
But I think there is another, deeper issue for why this silence before God can be so difficult.
When we are truly silent before God, when we come before Him with nothing but our true selves, we find that the only thing left is God and us. And I believe that, that is an uncomfortable place to be.
It is in that place, that we realize that we truly have nothing to offer. We don’t have our grand ideas or thoughts. We don’t have our plans or visions. We just have our broken selves. And it is in that place that God can really show us who He truly is and who we truly are not. It is in that place that we come face to face with our maker and see that we can’t measure up.
And it is in that place that God can really begin to humble us. He can reveal things about ourselves that we never knew because we wouldn’t allow ourselves to slow down enough to let God reveal them.
This is not a pleasant place. This is not a happy place. But I believe as we silence ourselves before Him and give Him the chance to work and speak to us, He will honor that. He will honor our desire to seek him. And the more and more we give him this opportunity, he will change us and this time and space that we give him can begin to be transformed. As opposed to this time being something we dread, something that is a dark place, it becomes a time when we really can enjoy this communing with our lord. It becomes a refuge.
After taking us through the uncomfortable and difficult fire of his intense presence, we see this time being transformed into a place of peace and restoration.
That is what I want. I want that time of silence with God to be a time of sweet communion and listening to my Lord. And I think that is what Christ is wanting as well. So I write this now to encourage myself and to encourage you to realize what is truly most important in this journey with Christ.
And that is to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen.
Luke 10:38-42
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I pray that we truly embrace this truth and ask God to help us in this endeavor to truly embrace this silence at his feet.